1:14 AM, Saturday, July 31, 2010
when faith fades, what comes after that?
She used to tell me, good things are worth the wait.
I used to believe it.
But, I guess I stop.
There is always a period of time to everything.
Just like how 4 seasons changes- come and go each time.
Time slips.
My heart feels nth.
When faith fades, emptiness filled the heart.
Even with the same encounters, the heart stays the same.
The complicated heart of mine.
Till the day, I find…
Ps: I am at least A BIT closer to my dream. I am glad that i started on something. cos if i won't, the dream of mine will jus remain as a dream.
6:18 PM, Sunday, July 18, 2010
Anticipation
had rather interesting stayover at elin's place last nite.
we bbq, play game and mj.
ming hui came up with a idea where we supposed to think of each others' strength and weakness without revealing our own identify. but, in the end, we decided to disclose the idenify of each person.
Below are their views on me!
BAD points:
yee sin: KITE FLYER! ( i admitted i quite frequent pang seh pple. hahas.=x)
elin: weak-hearted
ming hui: gullible
daniel: complainer
shu min: fast
hwee hoon: impatient and quick chop chop person
GOOD points:
yee sin: PRETTY! (*shy)
elin:sociable
minghui:carefree
daniel: chatty
shu min: fast
hwee hoon: efficient
PS: the day i long for doesn't means anything anymore. the anticipation faded n died.
10:22 PM, Thursday, July 15, 2010
Quality time
I woke up sensing sth was wrong. I turned n looked at the clock. It's 8.30am! Oh no, i missed my date w yee sin AGAIN! =x no choice. i sent her an apology msg and continued with my sleep. I offcially woke up at 10.3oam and started to prepare to go out to meet linnette! On the bus, i saw jane's mum! YES, i finally able to RECONGISED her! AMAZING FEAT! * a pat on my shoulder. =) had my lunch at compass point and headed down to linnette's new house at sengkang! she insisted to walk home from compass point though she dunno how n where is her house! -_- she said gleefully, " we always love adventure, don't we?" her house is immaculate, pleasant and has this condo look like interior design. It's incomparable to her old house. we sat in her living room and started our small talks. I always enjoyed talks in cosy place. Time files. We did not have much time to chat more as she needed to rush down to church. =( but, i guess is enough. quality time spent together. =)PS: It finally arrives, my trepidation starts.
11:23 PM, Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The mundane things
Recently, by chance i got to know this malaysian photographer while randomly clicking on facebook. His photos caught my attention and caused me to add him on fb to gain full access to all his photos. I never fail to view every single pictures he uploaded. we chatted on fb and amazingly, we clicked off. Then, I realised he is a 32 years old uncle staying in KL. I always keep telling him that his pictures are so different from others and how much i like to view his pictures. His reply was, "Keep the pictures honest and sincere."
he transformed the mundane things we take for granted into something that is so unique yet simple.
12:41 AM, Friday, July 09, 2010
蔡健雅 - 抛物线
我確實說 我這樣說 我不在乎結果
我對你說 我有把握 成功例子好多
人們虛假又造作 總愛得不溫不火
我們用真心就不會有差錯
我沒想過我會難過 你竟然離開我
＊愛沿著 拋物線
離幸福 總降落得差一點
流著血心跳 卻不曾被心痛消滅
真真切切
青春的 拋物線
把未來 始於相遇的地點
至高後才了解
世上月圓月缺只是錯覺＊
我好想說 我只想說 我不要這後果
可是你說 相對來說 走開是種解脫
當初親密的動作 變成當下的閃躲
感情的過程出了什麼差錯
我沒想過我會難過 你終於離開我
REPEAT＊＊
至高後才了解 世上月圓月缺只是錯覺
11:27 AM, Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Xiu Rong's Analysis
i guess sometimes third party point of view is the most accurate one. yester, i was chatting with xr online. then, she helped me to make some analysis. she mentioned about sky. it's a name tt is so familiar yet so far. she said that i used to mention this name a lot of times and she suspected something. but, i didn't notice it until she told me yester. then, she labelled this as "ke xi". she said something abt my character which i agreed on. slowly, i started to convince by her. Her words made thousands sense but it's juz too late to realise all these. perhaps, she is right. i always don't see it coming.
12:23 AM, Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Childhood Memories
Credit to: Ooi Eng Wah
the pair of shoes remained dirty- be it rains or shines.
the size of shoes remained big- as parents want to save money in replacing it
the endless running and playing in the muddy field- brought laughter across the field
the raining season that drenched the shoes- the times where the parents brought slippers for their child to change.
No ostentatious socks to complement the supposedly white school shoes.
8:50 PM, Friday, July 02, 2010
back to my normal self.
finally, i think i am back. after getting so depress for the past 1 week, i am back on my feet again. fortunately, there are friends like ming hui and shu yin who played a vital role in scolding me. i have been in my comfort zone for a long time. it's time not to run away from problems instead, i should run towards them. I have the ability to solve it and i cannot let my low self esteem to overrule me. i am who i am cos i have the ability and why i am not trusting myself? i know where are my weaknesses yet i am not working on them.
i remb vividly, tt time when i am having a review on my manual driving, the instructor told me a few times tt once i reached a certain speed, i am required to change gears. But, i refused to listen due to my laziness and i enjoy being in my comfort zone. as a result, he told me off after the whole assessment. I am so pissed that i decided to change to auto. however, there was something tt he said remains in my mind up to now. he said harshly, " you know that u need to change gear once the speed limit is reached. but yet, you refused to do it. I can see you have the ability to drive a manual car but why aren't you following instructions?" at that point of time, anger took the better side of me and i blamed him for causing me to switch to auto. now then i realised, i always run away from problems. perhaps, i can drive a manual car if i followed all instructions and given more time.
the one thing tt i lack of is courage.
2:43 PM, Thursday, July 01, 2010
try harder, climb faster and stand taller.
when is the last time i have a super long chat on msn? i guess is last yr. it has been a yr since i hold a super long chat session with someone. yes, carrie cheong ming hui and li sian had caused me to sleep at 3am yester. it has been a long time tt i went to sleep at 3am. it seems like i am back to sec sch when i always camp on irc and talked to random people for hours n hours. however, this time round was with fren i know. den i started to think abt the past.
the regrets i have in life.
the friends i treasure so much tt leave me.
the youth i once have.
the dreams i always hold.
the beliefs i hold on to.
it seems like it doesn't really impt anymore. i tot i moved on but in fact, i am juz running away. i am tired. i juz need a slow walk. juz someone to accompany me thru this walk. there's no turning back.
there r always a lot i wan to tell n share w the two friends i cherish but has drifted apart. but, i doubt there r no opportunities to talk as it is b4.
a drink, a smile n juz a relax mind under the moonlight is juz a simple wish tt is so difficult to attain.
Credit to: Ooi Eng Wah