11:08 PM, Thursday, September 30, 2010
simply just thoughts
a lot a lot of thoughts ran through my mind. haven been that emo b4 ever since i start working. too caught up with work. sometimes in the process, you lose urself. there is partically no time for proper dinner, let alone time to hu si luan xiang. i dunno is a good or bad thing. today, i had dinner with sy. i discovered sth that supposed to be SHOCKING but i dun feel it that way anymore. I realised in life the answers you looking for will one day/eventually comes to you. i found the answers and discovered a bit more than that. the impacts of the news are not that strong on me anymore. on my way home, a lot thoughts flooded my mind. one after another...for some reasons, it makes me feel like doing overseas CIP. quite determined. suddenly, i feel myself very insignificant. i wan to bring smiles to another pple. i find back the pure n innocent side of me. To learn more about this world. To see the extreme side of living conditions). To constantly remind myself dun take things for granted.
10:23 PM, Monday, September 27, 2010
WATER-LEMON.
recently, i had a damn good steamboat at my friend's house. i always enjoy such gathering. her nephew simply loves me cos i wore a top with a big watermelon print. he is adorable yet annoying. hahas. nevertheless, i still like him. den, i discovered that his parents is at divorce stage. out of the sudden, i juz feel very upset n angry. why do they bear him when they going to shirk their responsibilities of not giving him a complete family? but, as i start to ponder deeply, maybe divorce is inevitable. who will choose to take on this path?
but, at the end of the day, the innocent viticm is always the child who simply jus wan a complete family environment for growing up. I am glad tt i blessed with such environment.
12:31 AM, Sunday, September 26, 2010
Managment skills
3 weeks in the job, OT is now a norm; tons of unread e-mail is a norm; unsolved cases remain a mystery is a norm; to work on weekends is a norm. when everything is a norm, it is a sign that u adapting to it. I smiled at my naive thoughts of WORK LIFE BALANCE. I now understand the existence of red tape is quite unavoidable as the coy expands. the diff style of people doing things either create more troubles or more areas to explore n grow. decision making is a routine. i never expect myself to do so many decision makings. there is no benchmark or guidelines for each situtations, all are based on your judgement and doing it in the most "appropriate way". But, who determines the definition of "appropriate way""? it's just subjective. every steps you take is a gamble to gain more respect or lose the trust of your team. i wan to work for the team. i wan a change. all i lack is courage.
10:21 PM, Tuesday, September 21, 2010
where is my work life balance?
my 1st job and I am tasked to be a manager with 6 officers under me. I dunno how to manage and even gain their trust n respect. it's tough. But, at least, i gald i am given such chances. I now need to even do appraisal for them. really hope i can fight for some of them. those good ones tt really deserve the regconition.
have been ot-ing recently. everyday is juz like a battle. i dun even have the time to go toilet. we are even having meeting over lunch. lunch is juz work w food. =( i need to adapt to all these changes. I need to learn how to communicate with them- be the youngs or old.
weekends r short- packed w activities. cos i am afraid i will lose my social life. i need to go out n socialise. ended up to be more drained.
going to be 1 month in the job. still a lot of things to learn esp my management skills. seriously, i not aiming for pb or a high grade. i juz wan to learn the things i need.
on a side note, i finally meet hj up after 2mths. hahas. n now, he is back in london. hope 1 yr files for him!
8:52 PM, Saturday, September 11, 2010
Sat night. A different one.
i used to enjoy every sat night. i am either burying myself in a mountian of books or i will be at orchard shopping till the security guard chases me out of the mall. both r my fav on a sat night. hahas. but, i noticed the changes now. i sleep thru my sat night with no events and no books accompany me. alone and tired. tt's how bad it is.
this afternoon, i saw hui min online and yes, i have been waiting for her to be online! i immediately msg her on msn to ask whether they r still having trainings. i am gulity of leaving the team actually. hahas. i wan to be part of them again. to be back on the court again. due to some commitments and reasons, i am not able to attend trainings on sat last time. i am so glad to hear tt they will be changing their trainings to sun! plus, they are going to use a indoor court! tt's what i have been looking forward to! to play in an indoor court! nv have such chance b4. hope next sun juz comes soon. after my hellish week. hahas.
10:36 PM, Monday, September 06, 2010
working life.
the phase when schooling stops and you r out of ur comfort zone. doing things that u r being told or asked to. at the same time, learning everything that requires in the job. it's nv easy but everyone juz has to handle it.
if u ever have the luxury of time, stop for awhile and u will notice the footsteps of each individual just quicken as time passes. the world nv stops revolving; so do we. the endless tasks make me think what hold in my life. what is a meaningful life? to seek for tt while balancing the reality seems impossible esp in spore. how long can i still hold on to my passion?
perhaps, it's time to start with sth.
